Yesterday night,
I skipped a meal. It feels weird that I didn't even feel hungry, cuz I'm a kind of person that gets hungry easily. I stayed in my room for the whole night. I had a very very very bad headache that actually stopped me from studying. Felt like a start of fever, cuz my breaths burns.
For stalkers' information. Do y'all know that I permanently sleep on a yoga mat, due to back problems? Yesterday I slept on my usual bed, which wasn't that usual. Due to.... no one's using it, we stacked all the unused mattresses on top of the original one. So now it's looking like... stacks of mattresses. I slept there. Tho the dent in the bed is so damn deep. Tho there's no separator, I would fall off bed and crack my skull if I'm a kind of person that rolls often. I slept without a blanket. I'm just lazy to bring it up. But the air con wasn't efficient, so all is well. And O have two jackets up here. Hey I'm alive, I don't roll much in my sleep. Chill.
I slept with music. With Bluetooth and bluetooth amplifier on all night. With a playlist of songs that describes my feelings. Aw, those sad songs. For stalkers' information, my sister left the room. Due to, I'm hardcore-ish studying day and night, which ignored how messy and piles of books there are. Which, I kept the lights on all night. My sister couldn't stand me. I feel better after she left anyway. Finally have a space to be alone.
Up here, there's a great view. Lucky thing is, my sister's bed, there's a charger. And up here could use it. And there's a bed light. I brought my favourite pencil and a thick pillow, and some bio books. Yeah I planned to study. Did, studied a bit anyway. Just the headaches stopped me.
Slept at three something. Was just sad. Sad about my new decisions. I'm not gonna give up hope. But, I'm gonna give up expectations.
It's necessary to hope. If there's no hope, there's no change.
I hope I get A+ for bio. But I expect I get my old shitty results, which used to always be a C, and only mid term, it became a lonely A. No more expectations.
Yeah, back to aim. Study.
Always remember, we have friends and family that cares a lot. Drink lots of water, the weather's cray. Know that while you're busy making your events successful, someone out there is always missing you. Know that you need to at least tell them that you're okay. Treat them well when you're with them. Unlike me, every floor near me are grounds with landmines. No, I'm gonna deactivate them.
Always remember, the aim of living is because your presence meant something to people, and you're not gonna live it fully just for your career your job. When you're busy. Don't forget to love the peeps around you, that felt worried every time you say "I'm dying." Let them put down their worries, let them live their life without worries, if you love them too, cuz everyone's busy anyway.
Be safe and always take care of yourself. If you get tired, you could always look into the phone, and dial or text. If they love you and miss you, no doubt. They will definitely reply, with care. Cuz your presence is gold
Live for the living. Stay healthy. Always remember.
