Damn, I have to write.

Today, and yesterday, I was so off.

Very, very fucking disappointed at my results. I did a lot worse than mid term. I could actually find stupid excuses like... guitar exam, or conflicts with people, or.. all those shits. But that's just not right.

The smartest person in class, our top student. She asked me, "Hey, bad mood?"
"Yeah I feel like killing."
"You look sad, more than pissed.."
Maybe, both.

I'm glad we get to meet up today, you just gave me a hard push to keep going.

I was actually feeling fucking useless, and thought maybe I should really just get back to music. I didn't put in effort to get a distinction, imagine how awesome the marks would be if I did put much more effort. And with results? Effort seems useless. People, like arrogant ass. He's like fucking relax at every second, and said "not gonna study" but really, gets the best.

Sometimes seeing smart people doing that well without effort makes me just feel like stopping. Smart people who doesnt work hard, what if they all work hard? It's just I fucking sucks. Maybe I see them this way, and people see me as... the one that doesn't put much effort to do well in music.

I'll try my best.