Rest?

Now even he's asking me to rest. Er hem. Should I? No. I don't think so. Plenty of time to rest after the competition. I should train more. Right? Well. It doesn't hurt soooooo bad. Bearable.

Today I did footwork. Triggers the pain. I Googled and found some informations. Holy crap. It's called Lisfranc injury,  aka midfoot. Exactly where it hurts so fucking badly when I bend the foot. It says it might be the bones there or ligaments torn or dislocated.  I think mine wasn't that bad, but wasn't thaat good tho. Cuz the bottom did not bruise, but I can feel it getting bad, as long as I do footwork. Two regions are in contact, and it's not supposed to. Something's fraying inside, that's really bad.

I googled to find treatment. I'm not that tough. Need things to maybe... soothe a bit? Google says, it can't be easily 'walk through'. Needs treatment. I'm getting treatment phobia!  Damn. Last time. That doc was so violent.. Er. I didn't scream cuz my mom was there. Gritting teeth will do. I realized that I don't show weaknesses in front of my family. No moaning. No whining. Be strong. But seriously treatment again, it's nightmare! Unbearable. Wish I could go alone so they won't have to see my face.

Stupid foot. Why did I twisted it in the first place? Treatment will work for a while, but it won't heal! I mean. It will come back.... haaaaaaaiz. Rest, or train footwork? Rest? Footwork?? ...... got to chill. Just went through the lost book thingy. Hardest disappointment....

Just now I let my sister touch while I let her feel the fraying area. She gasped and thought something's broken inside. I think it's just small dislocation, or torn ligaments, cuz I can still run or do footwork! (Tho it hurts) She said her guitarist friend fell on his hand and he ignored it until playing guitar and driving hurts. He went for a check up and found a crack! That's worrying me. Can a crack heal itself? Treatments are scary.... T.T not getting treatment is scary too. What if there's really something wrong in me..

I'll train. Rest can wait. He deserves a better partner. I'll train to be better.