Truth

Today's truth or dare. I asked a their honest opinion deep down in their heart. So arrogant ass started then me then yip man. Not gonna say the details. It's cool to let a friend know deep down what do you hate the most. It's like... a moment we had some knots opened up. It's a release. Connection between people, it's maintained with that.... honesty. It's a cool thing. Cool to know that I hated him sometimes and he hated me sometimes too. Cool to know, they salute me.

Oh by the way. I think I remembered what I put as her nickname here. Drama queen? Yip man and she, said that... they salute me for having so much to cope, and still could survive. Actually, nah. I couldn't cope. My guitar skills are OK. The rest are not so OK, and I quit two of them. My results? Look at the way I stare at add math papers. I can't cope. When all three things went crashing on me, I collapse, and waste a few days to heal that mental shit. I suck, you all just didn't know. Things are getting better Cuz I'm only focusing on studies now... I'm not as strong as you guys imagined... there's nothing good about jack of all trades, cuz at the end you'll be master of none.

I once thought that way too. I thought my face can mask everything. I thought it wasn't that bad. You guys are sweet, supporters. I don't need any words. I just need you guys to stop staring at my eyes, and stop giving me that pitiful look. Like lychee, she never suspected that I cried. She never knew many unhappy parts in my relationship. But she knew me well. Ish I just hate it that she has to say "Oh my god you didn't sleep? Did you studied everything? your eyes are extremely small!" Shut up, lychee. I dodge her. No one has to know. I could face the fucking wall in class, with LRT.

Open up to each other. That's how people connect to each other. Let shits go, it's all balanced anyway. Forget and forgive.

Wood. I'll be OK even if we don't meet. I'll just keep missing you. I'll look at your photos, I'll wait till we meet, then tell you everything at once, if I remember. I'll be OK, cuz when you're busy, I'll be here studying anyway. I just wish to kill all that doubts, I just wish you trust me and you don't even need to question me shits. I just wish we knew how to talk, even when both our worlds are stressing us out. I just need your hug. Please don't let me break up with you..

The most painful thing, wasn't period, wasnt back pain or gastric or headache or whatever shit pain. Wasn't having stupid arguments with you.

It's having the thought that we can't work out anymore. It's.... having that decision to let go, even tho you're everything to me.. that sucks.

"Do I look normal?"
"Yeah, are you not feeling normal?"
Nah.