Loving can hurt sometimes? Nah. Can kill*

And when it happened, you don't even want to look at the photographs. You just sit there hopeless doing nothing, staring at nothing, wondering why is this. You just wanna stop giving shit, stop expecting everything. You said it, definitely you mean it. It's not gonna be nothing if you just pretend nothing happened. No such thing. Once you said it, it's done. Once you stabbed it, it's already done, too.

When you let it happen once, it happened again, and again. And it conquered you. Made you worthless, like it's ok to do whatever he wants cuz you'll be fine with it. Then you be fine with it. Allowing someone to enter your heart and breaking you from the inside, saying that. That's not just stab. That's.... putting up a fire from the inside. At the end, nothing's left. Can you say that, "Let's pretend nothing happened"? No I already heard that. I get that. I accepted that. I'll remember that. You'll always be better alone, so I better get ready to expect you, to put a fire again any time.

I'm stupid enough to let shits happen repeatedly. But never mind. At least I know what you think now. I'll never be permanent.

Can you imagine me study? Oh guess what? I can't, at all.

Aces? How bout just A. How bout screw all this shit! I don't see why I'm living.

I can't believe you said that. Thanks for killing me now, that maybe I can reduce that pain in the future, if there is one. Thanks for letting me know how well and fine your life will be when I'm gone. I can die peacefully.